We Can Say No (We Say What's Okay)

by Lydia Bowers (Author) Isabel Muñoz (Illustrator)

We Can Say No (We Say What's Okay)
Reading Level: 2nd − 3rd Grade

A story that helps teach young children that it's okay to say no.

Feeling empowered to say no is a key foundation of consent. We Can Say No builds children's social and emotional skills and helps teach them that it's okay to say no.

The fifth book in the We Say What's Okay series, We Can Say No follows Zakiya and Sami as they learn that their bodies, including their hair, belong to them and that no one should touch them without permission. Using the book as a read-aloud, educators and families can model the language Zakiya and Sami's teacher uses to support them. The author, who hosts workshops and trainings on teaching boundaries and consent for families and early childhood educators around the country, offers additional activities in the back of the book.

Digital content includes a song from Peaceful Schools with downloadable audio files and sheet music.

We Say What's Okay Series

Centered around a class of preschoolers, this series helps teach young children the social and emotional skills they need to understand the complexities of consent. Each book covers a consent theme, such as how to recognize the physical sensations that emotions create, look for body language cues, ask for and listen to choices, and know that our bodies have value. With believable, everyday situations and diverse characters, children can see themselves and others reflected in each story--and develop a vocabulary to communicate consent and feelings. Every book in the series is accompanied by its own song from Peaceful Schools with downloadable audio files and sheet music.

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School Library Journal

Starred Review

Gr 1-4--Bowers tackles a sensitive topic, that of consent, in a very considerate way, making it understandable for kids who stand to benefit the most from reading this book. Zakiya is a young Black girl who enjoys listening to stories read by the white librarian in her class. However, the librarian always touches her hair without asking, and Zakiya wonders if she's weird for minding until a classmate, Sami, mentions the same problem. The girls wonder if they should say anything, because they enjoy story time and don't want to upset the librarian. A teacher catches wind of the girls' discussion and explains that personal autonomy comes before another person's feelings. In the end, with their newfound understanding of their personal space, the girls tackle the situation together. Bodily autonomy is such an important topic to bring up to kids as early as they can understand it, and Bowers creates a tactful, accessible forum with this story. Additional bonus points for Bowers's tackling of the treatment of people with disabilities as well in the case of the teacher and his experiences with people in his personal space--they touch his chair--too. VERDICT This book should be in every classroom as an icebreaker, relieving children of the need to introduce the topic themselves, and a definite addition to any library; it's a well-handled approach to a very important topic.--David Roberts

Copyright 2022 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Review quotes

"Thank you, Lydia, for being a pioneer and using your voice for those who have felt silenced on this topic. This story took me back to being in the fourth grade with braids and beads in an environment with children who did not look like me. I did not have the supportive voice in that space to say no, but stories like this encourage me. We have to make it a norm for children to have true autonomy over their whole body and space if we expect them to mature into confident adults. This story is for everyone, and I hope it elicits conversations and thought partners on this journey."—Tara Hurdle, Education Coach
Lydia Bowers
Lydia Bowers is a speaker, consultant, and trainer who happily exists in the Venn diagram overlap between early childhood and sex education. After spending almost two decades of working directly with children as a classroom teacher and a parent, she is passionate about reframing sexuality conversations. Lydia now teaches families and educators how to talk to children about subjects like gender, reproduction, and abuse. When she's not traveling around the country for conferences and speaking engagements, she lives in Cincinnati with her husband and two children and adds to her growing collection of children's book character tattoos as often as she can. Follow her on TikTok @lydiatalksconsent and Instagram @lydiambowers.

Isabel Muñoz's dream was to paint for a living, and now she's proud to be the illustrator of several children's books. She works from a tiny and colorful studio in the north of Spain. You can follow her work at isabelmg.com.
Classification
Fiction
ISBN-13
9781631987120
Lexile Measure
520
Guided Reading Level
-
Publisher
Free Spirit Publishing
Publication date
October 20, 2022
Series
We Say What's Okay
BISAC categories
JUV039100 - Juvenile Fiction | Social Themes | Peer Pressure
JUV039210 - Juvenile Fiction | Social Themes | Sexual Abuse
Library of Congress categories
Assertiveness (Psychology)
JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Peer Press
JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Sexual Abu
Boundaries (Psychology)
Self-protective behavior

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